Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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