sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
