I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
