also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
