you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
