Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My life is pants optional.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
