hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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