Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
