Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize