If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
They are going to name an STD after you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize