I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
