he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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