Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
