Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
