Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
