I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just cut my nipple shaving
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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