Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
