Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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