how can u be prego again
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
