just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
