What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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