you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
