I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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