you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i out mim tonsoeep
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