I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
