My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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