We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
