I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
