Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
