therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
