member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
