I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
