He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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