did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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