How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
