it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
