My cat gives me a boner
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize