jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
