I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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