my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
