I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She announced her abortion via fbk
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
