they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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