3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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