I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My balls are so social today.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
50% drunk capacity currently
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
