if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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