I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
