i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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