quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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