I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
