We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
