i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
