fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
