I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
