The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
