two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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