She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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