he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
